Barely an update

It’s been a real struggle mustering the energy to write on here – a struggle I’ve obviously been losing against.

I have little to say, except I’m still keeping myself sane through the long, empty work hours. I’ll write again, properly, soon.


The old love affair: being true to my ‘hobbies’

Hi all, apologies that once again my little Carnegie post has been put on the back-burner; for whatever reason, I’m just not feeling impelled to write about it yet. I will do though, when it feels right. On top of that, I’ve still yet to finish ‘Meetings’, and haven’t looked up publishing careers as I’ve been telling myself to do for ages – sorry! The reality is that this last one was really just a professional ‘filler’, but for what it’s worth, I have a resolution this week I’m determined to stick with (he says, as the crowd sighs with impatience – I’m quite fickle, apparently).

I really am determined with this one though. I was speaking with my partner last night about why I at times feel… wasted. I think it’s always been obvious to me that literature and academic study have something to do with it; for as long as I can remember, these have been a major cornerstone of my identity, what makes me feel ‘good’. But what I hadn’t realised, until Dritan helped me out, was that I’m not committing myself enough to these passions, if I really want to feel satisfied that they’re being recognised as just that. I picked up a collection of John Donne last week, along with a short critical work, and since then I’ve been eagerly thumbing the pages, feeling like a student again – feeling good (hence the slightly neglected de Hamel, but I’m getting there!)

So, once again in the overarching spirit of 2017 – to seize happiness – I’m going to start setting aside real time for tapping into these passions. It will be difficult, with my ongoing MA studies, my social life and just the general bits-and-bobs of living, but what choice do I have? I’m really quite excited…

So, my plan is to split this vague idea of doing ‘literary’ stuff into three strands:

  1. Reading literary work (esp. poetry) AND criticism (Luckily, I already do this, but what’s more important is…
  2. Finding a forum or group to engage in discussions about this work.
  3. Picking up creative writing again, with more direction.

Fitting this into my routines shouldn’t be too tricky (he says, fufufu). For target 1, I plan to simply make sure for each piece of work I enjoy, I’ll read at least an article analysing it, instead of just putting it down forever. I also want to consider writing academically, you know, for fun…

For number 2, I’ve already found a couple of societies (Royal Soc., Poetry Soc.) which I unfortunately can’t really afford to pay to join right now, but will do at the end of the month. For now, sad as it might sound, I’ve made the Guardian Books site my homepage – it does have a lot of stuff on there!

As for target number 3, instead of scribbling work on any hands, post-its or dirty paper I can find, I’m going to be more conscious with my notes; not long ago I was doing this with a dedicated creative writing notebook. I need to make a direct effort to collate my thoughts in here, in order to feel like I’m getting somewhere with that strange dream of ‘writing’.

So, with your permission, I’m going to ditch the ‘publishing’ target for now (see below), and instead set ones revolving around these new targets. Obviously they can’t take them all up, but there’s space for at least something related to literature each week.

Sorry, I know this seems rambling – the reason I’m writing all this is because I want to feel true to myself, to what I care about. In the daily humdrum of things we ‘have’ to do, it’s easy to lose sight of what actually makes you want to wake up in the morning. For me, this is one of those things. I’m choosing to prioritise it.

Personal Professional
Finish ‘Meetings with Remarkable Manuscripts’ Complete draft of MA sketch, and plan of report.
Write a short piece on Donne (no more than 300 words) Complete Nat. Archive Latin tutorials 2-5
Make any c. writing notes in diary.
Read criticism for each text I read.