How often do you feel that you deserve more happiness?
I want to draw your attention to a quote I read this morning:
“No soul that seriously and constantly desires joy will ever miss it. Those who seek find.”
It’s from C.S. Lewis’s ‘The Great Divorce’, which I know nothing about (it’ll certainly be on my radar now, though). Recently, I know I’ve definitely begun to feel weary with my own ‘problems’. From my career, to my friendships, even down to my personality, I’ve felt like every day hurls a hundred different reasons to be unhappy with myself.
This isn’t to say I’m ungrateful for what I do have… at least not actively (perhaps all ungrateful people are ‘passively’ so, though?) For me, the problems are less the things and experiences I have, and instead how those things will be perceived by others. It’s mad, I know, but it hurts me to feel that a friend may watch me work in a nauseatingly boring desk job, more than working said job itself.
As time goes by, I’m more and more alarmed by the qualities this… restlessness is evincing. I feel envy, and pride, bubbling in my throat when I speak with friends, hear of their new jobs or fantastic trips away. To become bitter and jealous would be awful.
The world owes us nothing. The world isn’t fair. People get things they don’t deserve, for good or bad. And yet the world gives us far more than many. That’s as much hand-holding as we can expect. The rest of it’s down to us.
I’ve been lulled into the expectation – common across many circles of today’s world – that we can simply tick a list of generic, linear boxes, and as if by clockwork happiness will fall upon us.
Think for a second. Have you tricked yourself into this false premise? Rolled into it, like a warm blanket, at some point in the haze of days, weeks, months in the 9-5? Then listen to the likes of Mr Lewis.
We need to turn over, dust off and scour every moment of our lives that we can get our hands on. We need to find the happy sides, and leave the more sobering ones to find us themselves. As the recent – and unexpectedly important – Pixar film ‘Inside Out’ makes clear, sadness is a crucial aspect of life. But if we seek it, it’s all we’ll ever find.